Thursday, June 26, 2008

Come Clarity

Most of my life has been shrouded in the feeling that no matter how hard i work, how much progress i make, i'm still failing to find what i want; unable to get to where i need to be. But a few recent developments and the past couple of weekends have made me realize that i'm getting there - i'm just a number of years behind schedule.

...

My experience at Michigan State University was awesome in that it was an escape from the prison that was my parents' house. I was finally able to breathe; to take a look at myself and the world around me. But i did not make the most out of my undergrad years, partly because i didn't know what to go after, but also because i just wasn't ready.

After i graduated and moved to Champaign-Urbana, i (eventually) started doing some of the things that i should have done when i was in college. I became active with a student group. I discovered my passion for dance, and continued to explore music. I slowly made a lot of great friends (mostly students). I connected with the University of Illinois' campus and grew to feel at home there. Don't get me wrong, i'll always bleed green and white; MSU is *mine* and i absolutely loved living in East Lansing. But C-U was just different somehow. I think i took better advantage of living in a college town (and appreciated it more) the second time around.

This timeframe was also when i finally experienced my first serious relationship. Falling in love was the best thing that ever happened to me; it was everything i'd wanted and so much more. With other things going so well, being with her made my whole life shine! Unfortunately, things ended rather badly. The breakup hurt me more deeply than anything else ever has, leaving me with a set of wounds which still haven't really healed (maybe they never will).

But i digress.

So living in C-U was almost like a second chance at undergrad. Obviously it wasn't a "do-over" by any means, but i did catch up on a few things that i'd missed before. I was able to focus on myself as a person and start making improvements. I started up an effort to eat better and exercise more. I cut down on wasted time and instead sought out "useful stuff" to do. And above all else, i'm so pleased to have connected with *people* - made so many awesome friends - and become more confident, outgoing, and just *better* with social situations. A world of difference compared to the Neilam from his own undergrad years.

Sideber: I have to thank the UIUC Swing Society because my involvement with the organization is what led to a lot of the above. Even now, i'm amazed at the way i went from being a fledgling dancer to a regular in the scene, and then to TAing lessons and teaching (!) classes. Social dancing brought out a whole new side of me and became a huge source of positive energy. And it's a good feeling to have a place where you truly belong.

...

Once my time in Champaign-Urbana came to an end, i moved out here to Cali and started on some of the things i should have done when i first got out of college. Make some new friends, try out new activities, fill nights and weekends with fun stuff. The transition, while difficult, ended up being a great step for me. It was almost as though i really was a freshout - new job, new town, a whole new set of opportunities.

I've been meeting a lot of great people out here (huge thanks to Facebook for facilitating the connections). I've continued working on myself, slowly fixing things that i don't like. I quit watching tv entirely (except for streaming episodes of Lost and Heroes online) and reallocated a lot of that time to activities that i find to be more meaningful. Metal concerts. Rock climbing. Hiking (there are mountains everywhere!). Reading more. Refocusing my healthy lifestyle goals. Checking into the local lindy scene (actually i've been delinquent for the past few months, but i'll make it back at some point). And i started up an exciting personal project which i think is going well so far.

The developments on the social front have been immensely encouraging. I can hardly believe how quickly things have snowballed. It really is about a starting point; once you catch a break - if you have the right attitude - recursion takes over.

I am improving. It took me several years to settle into C-U; to start building a life for myself and make the place my home. This time around it was more like 7-8 months (different scale, i suppose, but similar developments). Maybe when i move to Seattle in 2011 (abstract plan), the transition will be even faster still.

...

So maybe i've just had a late start on life. And maybe that's ok. Right now (most) things are going great. I mean, i am missing the one thing that i want more than anything else, and i've run out of ideas on how to find it. Sometimes this missing piece seems to overshadow the rest of the puzzle. But the rest does seem to be coming together (albeit slowly, but late > never, right?). And who knows; maybe one day i'll catch a break.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Arch Enemy - Tyranny & Bloodshed Tour

Arch Enemy with Dark Tranquillity, Divine Heresy, Firewind
5/29/2008 - Slim's - San Francisco, CA



It's rare for a bill to to be 100% for me; usually i'm at a show for one or two of the bands, and end up yawning through the opening acts. But in the week leading up to the Tyranny & Bloodshed tour, i found myself getting excited for all four bands on the bill. I love Arch Enemy. I love Dark Tranquillity, and had been waiting forever for my chance to see them live. Divine Heresy is the new band of Dino Cazares, former guitarist from Fear Factory (one of my favorites from the old days); anything that involves Dino has my interest by default. Firewind is a band i hadn't heard of before, but a trip to their myspace page revealed that they're pretty awesome!

I arrived at Slim's way early, walked past the long line of kids and got in the shorter line for will call. While waiting, i noticed a tall, dreadlocked gentleman walk out of the club and head towards one of the tour busses. I wondered if he was in one of the bands or (more likely) part of the road crew. Just a random moment. Once i had my ticket in hand, i went back to the end of the big line to wait for doors to open (which happened late, as usual).

After getting inside i stepped into the head to retrieve my camera, and then went to check out the merch booths. I've been griping about overpriced merch recently, so i was pleased to find reasonably priced shirts and cds. A couple of Arch Enemy shirts caught my eye, but i decided to hold of for the time being. I then headed over to the other merch booth where i found...DINO CAZARES himself, selling stuff and meeting-and-greeting. Holy crap! I shook his hand, told him that i loved his work in Fear Factory & was really looking forward to his set. His bass player, Joe, was there as well; both really nice guys. They signed my cd and took a photo with me - awesome!


...

Firewind started their set while i was meeting Dino & Joe, so i slipped into the crowd near stage right as soon as i was done. They sound pretty awesome live & i immediately felt it. I'm not quite sure how to describe them; new-school power metal, maybe, with elements of thrash, and a down-to-earth feel (i.e. not cheesy). Warm & upbeat tunes, clean vocals, and stunning guitarwork. Oh, and they're from Greece. I'm thinking about getting a map of Europe and sticking pins in the home countries of all of my metal bands. There would be lots of pins in Sweden, obviously, but also Norway, Finland, the Netherlands, Germany, Portugal, England, Italy, now Greece, and more.

There was a rather tall dude standing near me who was also grooving to the band's first song; we exchanged grins & guy-head-nods. I recognized the intro to Firewind's second tune and yelled in response. My tall friend said "Hey, do you want to get in front of me?", indicating an open space. "You don't mind?" "No dude, go ahead!" "Thanks, man!" Just a small act, but it was one of those moments in life that make you appreciate the simple courtesy of others, and makes you want to do the same thing yourself.

From my new vantage point i saw that Gus G (the band's founder & awesome axeman) was perched right there at stage right. Watching him play was just awesome; he's quite skilled technically, but i also really admire his showmanship. It's clear that he's having a blast up there; grooving, shredding, a big smile on his face the whole time.



I was pleasantly surprised that i recognized so many of the songs they played (yay for the internet), including "Head Up High" and "Mercenary Men". But the real highlight was when they busted out "The Fire and the Fury", which is a kick-ASS instrumental track way back from 2003. All of the elements of a great instrumental, including a surprise - the keyboard player strapped on a guitar for some passages, and went back to the keys for a back-and-forth with Gus.



Love these guys. The only problem is that i love songs from at least 3 of their albums, so i'm not sure where to start. Maybe i'll hit up Century Media mailorder and splurge.

Firewind wrapped up their set to a huge reception from the crowd, getting the evening off to a great start. Best opening band i've seen in a long time.



...

Sidebar: While reading up on the band today, i realized something - i MET Gus G once! I just didn't know who he was at the time. He was filling in as Arch Enemy's touring guitarist in 2005 (while Chris Amott was temporarily away); i saw them play at Ozzfest that summer & met the band after their set. Check it out!

With Angela and Daniel:


Sharlee on the left, and who's that on the right? Yep, it's totally Gus G! Same thumbs-up sign and everything!

...

Next up, Divine Heresy. They exploded into their set with all of the aggression and heavy riffing that i'd expect from a Dino project. He plays an 8-string guitar, by the way. Solid set overall, but i didn't really dig the vocals (or vocalist). Reminiscent of a hardcore style, which i'm not really a fan of. And i don't have the whole story, but basically Dino had to fire their original vocalist early on this tour after an altercation on stage. So they have this other guy filling in for the rest of the tour. I mean he's going full force and doing his job, but i personally don't respond well to commands like "I WANNA SEE A BIG FAWKING MOSH PIT! C'MON, DON'T BE A PUSSY!" Whatever, man; don't tell me what to do. He even called for a Wall of Death, but only like 4 people participated - haha, weak.

So in terms of songs, Divine Heresy was my least favorite band of the evening, but it was still cool to see Dino up on stage again; he's a monster with that guitar of his. Joe (bass) is a solid player as well, and Tim (drums) is pretty intense. Really; these guys have a tight sound overall; i'd like them a lot more if they'd switch up the style of their vocals.





...

Dark Tranquillity took the stage next; one of my favorites from Sweden - the stronghold for melodic death metal (In Flames, Arch Enemy, Opeth...the list goes on). As soon as they launched into "Terminus", i knew we were in for a great set. I know i've been saying this a lot, but i mean it every time - these guys sound awesome live. Perfect blend of guitars & keyboard, heavy rhythms, lovely melodies, and Mikael's smooth growling vocals tying everything together.



Point of trivia - Anders Friden (vocalist of In Flames) was the original vocalist for Dark Tranquillity; he was on their first album, "Skydancer". After Anders left the band, Mikael Stanne switched from guitar to take over vocals. And ironically, Mikael recorded the vocals for In Flames' first album, "Lunar Strain", as a session musician because In Flames didn't have a vocalist at the time. There are other ties between the bands as well; it's like an extended metal family <3



Oh, by the way, the tall guy with the dreadlocks i saw outside before the show? Turned out to be Martin Henriksson - one of Dark Tranquillity's guitar players.



So of course a couple of guys had brought a Swedish flag to show some love. They were all the way up front & held it up near the beginning of the set. Mikael seemed to be pleasantly surprised; he got this huge smile on his face and spread his arms out as if to say "Awww, you guys!" They handed the flag up to him and he held it up & hugged it before handing it back. I'm sure people bring Swedish flags to a lot of their shows, but he really looked like the gesture had made his day.



The band played several songs off of their latest album, Fiction, of course, including "The Lesser Faith", "Focus Shift", and "Misery's Crown". But they didn't neglect the old, playing "Final Resistance" and "The Treason Wall" from Damage Done, "My Negation" from Character, and even going all the way back to Gallery for "Punish My Heaven". Great set, although it felt too short (maybe 40 minutes?). I would have liked a few more songs, especially from Character; hopefully i'll get to see them on a headlining tour at some point.




...

Taking a break between sets, i stopped by the merch booth again. I've gotten rather picky about shirts, but i really liked one of the Dark Tranquillity tour shirts, and decided that if they stocked a size Small, i'd be willing to fork over the $25. They did, and i did. Yay! It's not as "small" as it could be, but with so much writing on the back (it lists out all of the tour stops including city, date, and venue), i can understand why they needed the extra real estate.

I also considered picking up an Arch Enemy shirt, but most of the designs didn't quite do it for me. I did like the full-sleeve "Tyranny" shirt, as well as the classic tee with the simple logo on the front and "PURE FUCKING METAL" in huge letters on the back. I was both attracted to and cautious of a shirt that brandishes the F-word, but ultimately decided that the shirt isn't going anywhere and i'd spent enough money for one night.

...

Arch Enemy. After what felt like forever, the intro music started up, the band members slipped onto the dark stage one by one, and then EXPLODED into their visual and sonic assult. Oh man, this is what i live for! I thought they were amazing the last time i saw them live, and they've managed to not only live up to the memory, but exceed it. InTENSE rhythm section, amazing dueling guitarwork, and Angela's ungodly vocals and powerful allure & stage presence.



Ok, look. It's not just because she's hot. There's just something about this woman that is hard to put into words. Her vocals alone are awesome - powerful deep-throated growls, with a few screams in the mix. Add to that her aggressive grace; the way she throws herself fully into her performance. She radiates confidence and strength, balanced by a down-to-earth sentiment and a great sense of humor (some of her remarks between songs were hilarious). Oh, and her lovely accent certainly doesn't hurt (the band is Swedish, but Angela herself is from Germany) :-)



It was pretty awesome to see the Amott brothers (Chris and Mike) reunited (since Chris was away the last time i saw them play). Really awesome guitar players, both of them. Sharlee (love his name, by the way) was his rock-solid self on bass. And Daniel just *rips* up the drums. He played a hot solo spot during one of the interim segments; i really enjoyed.




Great set overall, representing all of the Angela-era albums. "Nemesis", "My Apocalypse", "Taking Back My Soul" (all from Doomsday Machine), several from the new album (which i hadn't picked up yet). A few from Anthems of Rebellion, including "Dead Eyes See No Future" which was incredible live. And from the awesome album "Wages of Sin" they rocked "Enemy Within", and "Ravenous" - the latter of which compelled me to charge forward and dive into the pit before i even knew what was happening.



The pit was of the mass-shoving variety - not my favorite, but not too bad. I got in my share of thrashing, then shifted over a little so i could focus on the band without getting kicked in the ribs. I'm weird; i usually can't get fired up for a show without being up front, surrounded by action. But recently i've found myself paying closer attention to the musicians as they play, especially the fretwork of the guitarists. Which is hard to do when you're getting shoved around and have to keep your guard up to protect your flanks. *shrug*

Oh yeah, and there were a couple of crazy girls down in the pit! It can get pretty intense, even out in the crush zone; at one point i ended up with a handful of one girl's hair loose in my hand and then all tangled in my camera strap. (Benefit #5 of my Jasmine-braid: Prevents hair from getting ripped out at concerts.)

Towards the end of the set, Angela announced "This next song is for all of the brokenhearted here tonight!" Me: "YEEAAAHHHH!" Angela: "Because 'You...Will Live...Again!'" *Awesome* new tune. Next she said that they were down to their last song of the night..."But maybe, just *maybe*...if you guys are really fucking loud, we'll come back and play some more." Yeah, the usual pre-planned encore, but it's all good. They wrapped up the set, we were really fucking loud, and they came back to play the anthem "We Will Rise". Naturally (it being an anthem and all) we all screamed out the chorus together, which was a bloody great feeling.



...






...

The show over, i headed out and got on the road home. I have to say, Slim's has become one of my favorite concert venues. Great little place, relatively painless parking situation (sorry, Chicago, i love you but parking on your streets is brutal), easy access to the freeway. And a non-Ticketmaster box office (handling fee for this show was $3). Rock.

I spent the drive home, as usual, with the radio off, replaying the highlights of the show in my mind, and contemplating how much i enjoy living only 45 minutes (plus traffic) away from the city. As intensely as i miss Champaign sometimes, i most likely would have missed this amazing tour if i were still living there (the 3-4 hour trip to Chicago precluded driving up on a random weeknight). Hell, that's why i hadn't seen Dark Tranquillity before, and had to miss so many other shows. I'm pleased that i've been able to catch so many of my bands on tour in the past 8 months.

Driving home, physically exhausted, mentally satisfied...a rare moment of contentment.