Need some advice

I'm trying to solve a problem.

Tonight i was invited to go out with a few friends; head up to San Francisco for the night. I agonized over whether to go or not. Seems like every time i go to the city with people, i end up having zero fun. I just don't enjoy the bar/club scene, at least not as a single guy. I invariably end up wishing i'd stayed home, saved my money, spared my eardrums, and gotten a decent night's sleep instead.

But on the flipside, every time i turn down an invite to go out, i sit home feeling lonely, hating the fact that i'm "that guy" who could have been out with people, chose not to go, and then proceeded to feel sad.

Is there not a third option?

Segue. I hate it when someone complains endlessly about something instead of doing something about it. I especially hate when the person complaining is me; thus i'm trying hard to not be that person. Identify the problem, then find a solution.

What am i prattling on about? Well...ok, i just deleted a paragraph about social life and related nonsense. Allow me to skip the boolstrology get to the root, which is this: I don't want to be alone anymore. I'm not cut out to be a single guy; i really hate it, and i've never been any good at it. I'm surrounded by people who seem to have had no trouble with finding their partner in crime; i ought to be able to as well. The ideas i've tried have failed, so i need new ideas.

So here's the deal: If anyone is reading this and has any suggestions, i would love to hear them. I know that in the past i've tended to be resistant, responding with "Oh, i don't know" or "No, that'll never work." So this time, open mind. I'll try anything you suggest (within reason) unless i've tried it already and it didn't work out.

Thoughts?

Please help us defeat Prop 8

Hi!

Most of you know that i hate politics and i hate soliciting. The only reason i'm spamming you now is because this particular issue scares the hell out of me. Please read; i'll keep it short.

Earlier this year, the California supreme court ruled that same-sex marriages are legal. Yay for progress! But now we have Proposition 8 on the ballot which, if passed, would ban same-sex marriage by putting discrimination directly into the CA constitution.

Unfortunately the proponents seem to be winning, thanks to a successful campaign of scare tactics and lies (i'm not exaggerating). A lot of people are falling for this. Even worse, they're contributing a LOT of money which is funding a barrage of misleading ads.

I am asking you to please help us fight back, even if you don't live in California.

- If you live in CA, please vote NO on Prop 8 on Nov 4th.

- If you do not live in CA, maybe you could help spread the word by talking to friends or family members who do live here.

- I *really* hate to ask for money, but that seems to be making all the difference. If you could spare even a few dollars, every little bit helps. Donations are accepted at http://www.NoOnProp8.com/ .

- Feel free to add a banner to your blog or email signature; lots of nice banners can be found at http://keepmarriagelegal.com/ .


Lots of great info can be found at http://www.NoOnProp8.com/ , or feel free to ping me with questions or comments.

Thank you,
-Neilam

Seduced By The Opening Act

Amorphis with Samael & Virgin Black
10/12/2008 - Slim's - San Francisco, CA



I love surprises.

The atmosphere inside of Slim's struck me as soon as i passed through the doors. Gone was usual sea of bodies packed in like sardines; the venue's population was much sparser this night. The back half of the floor was set up with tables (!), and the place actually felt like a low-key bar with a dark and mellow tone set by the music. Oh, the music!

Virgin Black were on the stage, bathed in warm red light, playing low and slow; rich melodies dripping with dark energy and emotion. Listening to the songs on their myspace page does NOT do justice to this amazing band. Their live show captivated me.




I'm not sure how to categorize these guys; doom metal, maybe, with elements of symphonic and black metal. Much of their music is dark and introspective; gothic landscapes painted with orchestration and choirs. But they also pick it up at times and rock hard. Rowan London performs lush vocals ranging from beautiful operatic singing to low shrieks and sustained growls, each style fitting the songs like a puzzle piece.




I was also intrigued by their guitarist, Samantha Escarbe; her face was covered by her hair for most of the set (even as she rocked out) adding a mysterious allure to her presence. (Also reminded me a little of Samara from The Ring). Solid guitarwork. I later found out that she and London are the founding members and primary songwriters of the band.


i think she's cute


I felt like i'd been transported to a faraway land. As their set ended and i faded back into reality, i knew i'd discovered another gem. I actually met London briefly after the set, but i was too rattled to say more than "Great set; i love your vocals!".



...

I don't have much to say about Samael, who took the stage next. Pretty good as an industrial metal act, but i had to dock points because of their faux drumming. Most of the percussion was programmed, but their synth guy had half of a drumkit (a snare, a few toms & cymbals) next to his keyboards which he'd peroidically wail on. LAME. I mean i'm down with electronica, but if you're going to have three guys playing guitars on stage, you should hire a touring drummer as well.




I was also annoyed because the afformentioned fight club started up under the guise of a mosh pit. News flash, assholes - if there are only 4 of you and everyone else is clearly pissed off at your assholery, then you need to take it outside. Moshing requires crowdsourcing; willing participants not only inside the pit, but also forming the circle wall and surrounding buffer. Since i wasn't really feeling the band anyway, i found a new perch at the bar and watched the rest of the set from there.

...

Amorphis rocked the house. Melodic death metal band from Finland, they're yet another act who manage to balance rich melodies and heavy riffing, with vocals split between singing and growling. Their vocalist, by the way, wears an impressive set of dreadlocks that hang almost to his knees. And he wields an old-shool, announcer-style microphone. Nice.




I only recognized a handful of their songs (the ones from "Silent Waters", their latest), but i really enjoyed the set, especially some of their older stuff. I actually picked up one of their EPs when i was in college (from the cheap-o bin at a cd shop in East Lansing); i did like it but didn't get into the band past that. Now, many years later, i end up picking up their latest album after randomly hearing a song on a sampler collection, liking it enough to want to see them play live, and being inspired by the show to go back and check out some of their stuff between then and now; funny how things play out sometimes.






...

Great night, all in all. Amorphis definitely fired me up the most, but i'm still haunted by Virgin Black. I listened to a lot of their music online today, and picked out a couple of albums to start with.

And thus ends the current leg of my 2008 concert marathon - 6 shows in 6 weeks. It's been a lot of fun, but rather exhausting, so i'm looking forward to having a few weeks off before my next show. Then again, Iced Earth is playing next week, and Apocalyptica the week after that; even though neither are tier1 bands (yet), both are rather tempting. Hmmm.

Weekend notes

This weekend: Great music, terrible food.

I posit that the quality of a Little Caesar's Pizza is proportional to its proximity to the Illich family (aka Detroit). In Michigan? Friggin awesome pizza. Champaign? Also good. Here in Cali? Fucking terrible. I will never go to the LC in San Jose again.

What's worse, i was craving Jimmy John's all weekend, but the only one in Cali that i know of is in Fresno - 3 hours away. That is, 3 of the dullest, most mind-numbing hours of your life. The cornfields on the drive up I-57 are downright exciting by comparison.

But enough of that, on to the music. Fired up Rock Band 2 on Saturday night. Last weekend was rough because it was my first time playing the sequal, so i had 40 new songs to learn to sing, about half of which i'd never heard before. But i spent time "rehersing" during the week (yay for youtube and metrolyrics), so this time was much better. Well, it felt a lot better at least; hopefully my voice *sounded* better as well.

On top of that, my moment of triumph came towards the end of the night when fatigue claimed two of our players, leaving us with only three in the rotation. Before calling it a night, i wanted to attempt a power trio lineup with myself covering vocals and fake guitar. I daresey i held my own. I enjoyed the challenge of coordinating the two instruments, as well as the resulting praise from my friends. I did, of course, choose songs that i knew well enough to sing from memory so i could focus on the guitarwork:

The "Neilam Is An Attention Whore" setlist:
- Today (Smashing Pumpkins)
- Everlong (Foo Fighters)
- Don't Fear The Reaper (Blue Oyster Cult) (sadly, not enough cowbell)
- Wonderwall (Oasis)
- Creep (Radiohead)
- Livin' On A Prayer (Bon Jovi)

("I like to play...")

...

My recent buying spree has yielded a ton of new music to listen to, including Paramore's album "Riot!". I enjoyed the two songs of theirs i've played on Rock Band, and i figured it wouldn't hurt to have some more fun upbeat tunes in my collection for when i'm feeling punky & upbeat myself (hey, it happens once in a while). Hayley (their singer) reminds me a little of Avril Lavigne (and i mean that as a compliment - i like Avril).

So i had the album on in the car today and was totally blindsided by the song "Miracle". It's a simple enough tune, but the warm melodies just pull you in, and the lyrics kindof spoke to me:

"Now i've gone for too long
Living like i'm not alive
So i'm going to start over tonight
Beginning with you, and
I don't want to run from anything uncomfortable
I just want, no
I just *need* this pain to end right here"

Paramore - Miracle


I listened to the song at least a dozen times straight. I also love "That's What You Get" (embedded below), but i think "Miracle" may well have become "my" song.

Paramore - That's What You Get


...

And last (first?) but not least was Amon Amarth on Friday night - superior Viking death metal band from Sweden. They rocked hard; i really enjoyed their set, as well as Ensiferum's (their main support). However their second support act, Belphagor...i had a hard time taking them seriously. Which is pretty bad given that i can enjoy & appreciate a wide range of cheese metal that many people write off as a joke (e.g. Manowar). Great show overall, though. My photos didn't come out as well as my set from Bullet, but i got a few decent shots along with a couple of video clips (the sound quality on my digicam is surprisingly good).





...

Man, i've been trying to make these posts shorter, but right now i'm too sleepy to edit any more.

I so don't want to go to work tomorrow.