I'm trying to solve a problem.
Tonight i was invited to go out with a few friends; head up to San Francisco for the night. I agonized over whether to go or not. Seems like every time i go to the city with people, i end up having zero fun. I just don't enjoy the bar/club scene, at least not as a single guy. I invariably end up wishing i'd stayed home, saved my money, spared my eardrums, and gotten a decent night's sleep instead.
But on the flipside, every time i turn down an invite to go out, i sit home feeling lonely, hating the fact that i'm "that guy" who could have been out with people, chose not to go, and then proceeded to feel sad.
Is there not a third option?
Segue. I hate it when someone complains endlessly about something instead of doing something about it. I especially hate when the person complaining is me; thus i'm trying hard to not be that person. Identify the problem, then find a solution.
What am i prattling on about? Well...ok, i just deleted a paragraph about social life and related nonsense. Allow me to skip the boolstrology get to the root, which is this: I don't want to be alone anymore. I'm not cut out to be a single guy; i really hate it, and i've never been any good at it. I'm surrounded by people who seem to have had no trouble with finding their partner in crime; i ought to be able to as well. The ideas i've tried have failed, so i need new ideas.
So here's the deal: If anyone is reading this and has any suggestions, i would love to hear them. I know that in the past i've tended to be resistant, responding with "Oh, i don't know" or "No, that'll never work." So this time, open mind. I'll try anything you suggest (within reason) unless i've tried it already and it didn't work out.
Thoughts?
I'm sorry to say that I really don't have advice for you. I'm much in the same boat when it comes to the second part of your post. I recognize that I don't really want to be single, but am not really sure how to do anything about it. So, no advice from me, but I empathize with your situation.
ReplyDeleteI know Marc is trying eHarmony, and it seems to be working out for him so far. I personally feel awkward thinking about using the net, but if you're open and you haven't tried, maybe it would help you out?
*sends hugs your way*
Thanks, Shannon. I did attempt an online site or two (because a few of my friends have had success with such) but got nowhere. I'm told that eHarmony is different, but at this point i'm just too jaded with the online scene.
ReplyDeleteBut after posting this, i remembered that someone told me about meetup.com a while back - basically it's a site for coordinating various social groups/activities in your area (hiking, movie nights, barcrawls; all kinds of stuff). Worth a try; maybe make some new friends. It sounds like school is keeping you pretty busy at the moment, but maybe it's something you might be interested in as well.
Hmph. School is kicking my ass. *is grumpy*
ReplyDeleteLuckily for me, it's not a lack of social interaction, as I see friends on a regular basis. So I'm not lacking human interaction or anything. And now that I think about it, really, I can't afford to date.
And I'm jaded with the idea of online, I don't even have to try it first.
I know the feeling because I've been "that guy" before. However, if you legitimately have plans for yourself, it's not so bad to decide that you're not along for another person's plans. I've recently rediscovered joy recently in playing videogames and reading, as well as blog-posting, researching, and planning things. I try to always be busy with school, work, and personal projects, so that when unexpected free time presents itself it can be a relief and a blessing.
ReplyDeleteAs for finding a lady, the best advice I can give and the only thing that ever works is to stop looking. That attitude change allows you to forge deeper connections and show more of yourself to those you meet. You can also take care of yourself better when you're not focused on what you're missing, again making you more desirable. Sorry if this sounds self-helpy, but I've found it to hold some truth.