1994

1994 was a pivotal year for me in terms of music. In fact, it was possibly the most consequential year of my young life - with respect to music specifically, and myself in general. I continued to evolve over the years that followed, but '94 was the beginning of it all.

Sophomore year of high school was when i finally started to come into my own and leave behind the awkward, uncertain kid who got bullied or ridiculed by almost everyone. I finally realized that i didn't have to be that person anymore. I changed my image, i adjusted my attitude; i embraced the best and the worst of the intensity of teenage emotions. And i discovered a burning passion for music - something i genuinely loved on my own terms (not just trying to be cool or fit in by copying other kids). I'd played in band since 7th grade, but mid high school was when i switched from brass to my true calling in percussion. And by an immensely fortunate coincidence, this was right around the time the grunge/alternative/whatever-you-want-to-call-it movement exploded and took over everything. After years of seeing music as something passive (listen to whatever was on 96.3, or whatever the other kids said was cool), i realized that it's possible for music to actually resonate and mean something.

...

I wish i could say i was all into the Big Four back then, but i was really only into Nirvana. I liked Soundgarden just fine, but didn't explore beyond their singles until years later. Ditto Alice In Chains; one of my closest friends was a huge fan, but i was behind the curve myself. As for Pearl Jam, i remember getting so fed up with their overplayed singles, i'd change the station whenever they came on. I eventually came to enjoy their first three albums when i was in college (and even wrote a term paper based partly on their social activism). I still haven't worked through the rest of their catalogue (it's on my musical to-do list); but i have, at least, traced their rock-and-roll lineage back through Temple of the Dog => Mother Love Bone => Green River.

In fact, i found out years after the fact that true "grunge" had started years earlier, and was already ending by the time i caught on. And "alternative" had become mainstream, but we hadn't stopped calling it "alternative" yet. Indeed, many of my favorite bands came out of the post-grunge/power-pop-with-downtuned-guitars persuasion, or other styles which happened to come along for the ride. Whatever. It changed my life, and i'm grateful for that.

I can't remember exactly when i picked up which albums, but i remember having a little cd rack containing "In Utero", "Siamese Dream", "The Downward Spiral", "Core", "Smash", "Get A Grip, and "Hints Allegations and Things Left Unsaid." [Again, not really "grunge", but these bands were all part of the larger experience.] I was also starting to notice Metallica, Pantera, and Megadeth on the radio, but didn't get full force into metal until a year or two later. [Also on the rack were Ace of Base, Mariah Carey, Jurassic Park, and the Animaniacs soundtrack; but that's a different blog post. Oh yeah, and Meat Loaf!]

I remember the rides home after marching band practice in my friend's car, and singing along with Green Day, Counting Crows, Better Than Ezra ("ah WAH-OW!"), and The Offspring ("You gotta keep 'em sepa-RATED!").

I remember the bandroom was a *goldmine* for musical discoveries. The students were given free reign over the stereo outside of class periods, and that's how i was introduced to Rage Against The Machine, The Crow soundtrack, Soul Asylum, and Beck. And it's also where i finally developed a proper appreciation for Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I remember feeling shocked and confused when Kurt died. This was before the internet and easy access to news; i got my updates from radio DJs and the hallways at school - not a reliable source of information. I was confused when the Unplugged album dropped and acoustic live cuts filled the airwaves. I didn't have MTV; i didn't know what Unplugged was. I didn't know that it had been recorded and aired a year earlier; i thought it was a (new) live concert. So if Kurt was gone, how was it possible for the band to be performing? One friend convinced me that the band had already replaced him with a lookalike/soundalike. Looking back, it's hard to believe that i believed that, but i did. For a while.

I remember sitting in my room late at night playing Siamese Dream on repeat (and sometimes just "Mayonaise" on repeat) for hours on end, zoned out with the soothing comfort of heavy guitars and distortion.

I remember going to my first concert (Aerosmith with Collective Soul opening) with one of my closest friends, sitting not only up in the bleeds, but *behind* the damn stage. Couldn't see a damn thing, but it was still amazing.

All of these memories, and so many more lost to the ages. The beginning of my personal evolution, elements which changed my life and still help me to this day.

...

I started writing this near the beginning of this year with the intent of starting a year-long project to celebrate the 20-year anniversary of 1994 and mark that time in music and life. But the time, as it does, has gone by and now there are only two weeks left in 2014. Maybe i'll carry this into next year, and combine it with a 1995 retrospective (which itself brought a series life-shaping events). Ideas for the project include:

• Revisit old albums from '94 which have been collecting dust
• Seek out more bands from the early 90s which i missed the first time around
• Learn more songs from that timeframe to add to my acoustic repertoire
• Write specific journal entries or blog posts covering any notable thoughts resulting from the above

I've actually been revisiting 90s music for years now, sporadically hitting the items above, and modern tools (ironically, perhaps) make it wonderfully easy. YouTube is a goldmine of old tv performances by bands, as well as VHS concert recordings thankfully digitized and uploaded by fans (and allowed to stay up by the copyright owners). Streaming services make it easy to pull up ignored or forgotten albums. Wikipedia provides biographies and discographies which were hard to come by back then. And Amazon, of course, is the easiest place to find old cds (many of which are sadly out of print, but still available to buy used).

So in a way it's just more of the same, this "20 years later" project, but i thought a more deliberate and focused effort would be meaningful and fun.

If anyone has bands to recommend or stories to share, i am definitely interested.